


Move in the right Direction

by the_Redfox



Series: “It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”  (New World One-Shots) [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: I have way to many courses about fairytales, Robin's storytelling is twisted, The golden-horned deer, The horrors of old lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:06:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2676692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Redfox/pseuds/the_Redfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wait you idiot! We do not know in which direction the coast is! I hate to say it, but we are completely lost! Or do you know the way, Robin? " Her eyes shimmering with hope she looked at the older woman, but the archaeologist shook her head. "No, I do not, "she replied, smiling. "But fortunately we have him with us!" she added, pointing at ... Zoro.</p><p>Oneshot in which legendary deer are hunted, ants observed, ways lost and the bloody background of Usopp's latest story is revealed. Someone really should have kept Robin away from the storybook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Move in the right Direction

_**~ Move in the right Direction ~** _

They were lost. Really lost. Even though no one dared to say it. Not in the  _"Do we need to take the left or the right path"_ -fashion, what could happen to everyone now and then, no, it was more the  _"Where the hell is the damn path"_ -type, that let you think of all the old tales you have been told as a little kid.

 _"Be careful and do not leave the road, or you will be caught by the big bad wolf!"_ , muttered Robin absent-mindedly while she walked side by side with the navigator under the towering trees and carefully kept an eye on their surroundings.

The young woman at her side was staring at the yellowed map in her hands with a puzzled expression on her face for several minutes already, not even noticing Robin's murmur, only lifting her head now and then to take a look at the sky. But dense branches blocked their view of the sun and thus Nami had no way to determine their position. The navigator was concerned, and even though she tried hard to hide it, the archaeologist was not fooled. Almost every second the young woman nervouslyran her free hand through her long, orange  hair and she was sighing nearly as often.

Robin frowned. It was rare - no,  _never_  - that the navigator did not know the way. Sighing as well the archaeologist took a look around again. Still no change: impenetrable thicket far and wide.

She had been having a bad feeling about this from the very beginning, but when the deer - huge, snow-white and with horns of gold - had emerged from the forest, nobody had been able to hold their captain ...and Nami... back. Immediately, the crew had set off in pursuit, and so the wild chase had begun.

But the deer was not to grasp. As swift as an arrow and sure-footed, he had flown through the undergrowth, always just out of reach, but close enough that they would not give up on catching him... not that this word seemed to be existing in Luffy's vocabulary anyway. Three hours and what felt like a thousand miles later, the animal had finally lost them... and they had lost their orientation. And even if they were still pretending that everything was in order, their situation seemed to dawn gradually on them.

In Usopps voice, who walked a few steps behind Robin and Nami, - together with the doctor and the musician - had slipped more than just a hint of hysteria while he told the other two another one of his only slightly fact-based heroic adventures. (Afterall there was the possibility, that all of this had happened...far away -  and to somebody else). To Robin the whole thing sounded suspiciously like Little Red Riding Hood, though she was not entirely sure yet, what Usopps part in this story was...

In front of her, her captain dragged himself along (after all, they were now more than three hours without food and water was not to be found) and debated alternating with Franky and the cook of the ways to keep a deer ... or how to cook it. For the last thirty minutes he clearly seemed to favor the latter... Luckily Chopper was too preoccupied with the sniper's story to notice. 

At the forefront walked the swordsman, always straight ahead ... or at least  what he thought was just that. Robin had expressed her doubts to the navigator as to whether it was wise to leave him unattended to take the lead, but Nami had just shrugged and said: "There is no way this could get worse than it isalready... so let him be."

Robin dared to doubt that as well, but the navigator still seemed to be upset about losing the deer and so she decided to leave it at that. Time went by. It was getting dark under the trees, Luffy's steps became even more sluggish and Usopp's stories kept getting more and more absurd. Though she had to admit, it would be rather difficult to cut a wolf open without waking it...

,,Did you know," she found herself saying, before even registering it. Eight pairs of eyes turned towards her, sporting different degrees of hope. But she was not ready to deliver them from their misery just yet. They brought this walk upon themselves and someone had to teach them a lesson. Though she doubted it would even register. Nevertheless, it was quite entertaining. 

"Did you know, that in the original version of Little Red Riding Hood the Huntsman never appeared?"

She smiled slightly as Nami sighed and turned her attention back to her map and Luffy continued to entrap the shipwright into a conversation about the difficulties of holding a deer onboard ("And what do we do with all the poop?" "Mhhm... maybe we could train it to use the bathroom? Or I build it a _suuuper_ -awesome deer-toilett. Shouldn't be too tricky..."). The others, however, gave her  at least part, if not their full attention. Even Zoro, who acted like he didn't have a care in the world, kept glancing back at her. 

"Why, Robin-chan? Did a charming prince come to her rescue?" 

Of course it would be the cook to inquire further information first. She felt almost sorry for destroying the little fantasy he had to be imagining now. Almost. 

"No. The wolf slaughtered the grandmother, gathered her blood in a cup and ate her flesh, leaving only the bones." (She could sense Brook getting ready to crack a Skulljoke and sent him an  icy glare before she continued.) "And when Little Red Riding Hood arrived, he forced the little girl to drink her grandmother's blood from the cup. And after that..." She paused, taking her time to look her transfixed audience (consisting of a horrified doctor and musician, a still hopeful cook and a very disturbed looking sniper), "And after that, he ate her too. The End."

There was silence. And then... _"ARRRRRGH!!!!"_

Unimpressed she watched Chopper and Brook clutching each other while Usopp slowly etched away from her, murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like _"I liked my version way better..:"_ She gave him an amused smile. The cook had simply adopted the look of a kicked puppy, which he lost fairly soon when they heard the swordsman chuckle to himself, prompting a long overdue brawl. 

Sidestepping the two, the group continued to walk on but there was still no path or something similar leading them back to be found.  And on top of that it had turned out that absolutely nothing in this strange forest was edible, at least if you were not a ruminant. And even Chopper seemed not too overjoyed considering his choices for dinner. 

Apparently there was not a living thing on this island.

Gradually the situation became more and more uncomfortable and the pirates more and more annoyed. Even Robin, who had enjoyed the "walk" so far, began to miss the Sunny and in particular her beloved library. Finally she had enough and stopped. Lesson learned or not, she wanted to go home. 

"Wait a moment."

It took no second before Sanji showed up at her side, asking her about her well being and offering to carry her, but she ignored him in favor of turning her attention to Luffy.

"I think we should stop the search for today and return to the ship. Do you agree captain?"

The black-haired boy looked up from the ant trail, which he had been observing with a concentrated expression, thought for a moment - and grinned.

"OK!"

Enthusiastically, he jumped up, looked around, and was about to disappear in a random direction, when Nami grabbed his wrist.

"Wait you idiot! That's all very well, but that's what I've been trying to do for the last sixhours! We do not know in which direction the coast is! I hate to say it, but we are completely lost! Or do you know the way, Robin? "

Her eyes shimmering with hope she looked at the older woman, but the archaeologist shook her head.

"No, I do not, "she replied, still smiling. "But fortunately we have him with us!" she added, pointing at ...  _Zoro_.

The swordsman looked at least as blankly as the rest of the crew. Even Luffy's forehead furrowed doubtfully and Usopp and Chopper opted for a horrified:  _"WE ARE LOST! SOMEONE SAVE US!"_... which came to an abrupt end when said swordsman got hold of them. S uppressed cries of pain broke through the peaceful quiet of the forest.

The archaeologist shot them a sympathetic glance but then turned to  look expectantly at Zoro.   


"So? In which direction is the Sunny? "

He hesitated a moment, looked around and then pointed to the right ... right into the midst of the densest undergrowth.

" _Robin-chaaaawn_  ... it's really nice of you, that you are trying to involve this shitty bastard, so he feels at least once in his life a bit useful but ... "

" _OI!_  What did you just say?"

"Oh, got a problem with the truth, mosshead? Face it, everybody knows, that your sense of direction is not existi- "

Before a(nother) serious fight could break out, one of Robins hands extremely effectively cut the cook off and sealed his mouth. Though...instead of insulting his crew mate he was now busy trying to kiss Robin's hand. Hopefully she did not accidentally broke his jaw just now...

Suppressing the impulse to wash her hands, she returned her attention to Zoro, an inquiring look on her face.

"This direction? Are you sure?"

He nodded, still a little confused why the hell she decided just now that his opinion on this matter counted. Not that he could blame her ... his sense of direction was famous after all.

( **A / N:**  I'm sorry zoro, but famous is actually not exactly the same as  _infamous_  ...)

"Perfect! "

Robin nodded and started walking... in the exact opposite direction. The swordsman blinked.

"Now, come on guys, we cannot allow the future pirate king to starve on an unnamed island, right?", Robin's voice rang out before she disappeared among the trees.

The rest of the crew stayed behind looking at Nami, who took another look at her map and then shrugged helplessly with her shoulders. "This direction is as good as any other, "she said and began to move after Robin. The rest of the Strawhats followed her hesitantly.

 

_**...** _

 

Exactly five and a half minutes later nine exhausted and veeeeeeeeeeeery hungry pirates stumbled out of the thicket and froze immediately. Unbelieving silence settled down upon them: Right before the crew lay, separated from them only by a narrow, rocky strip of sand, the endless ocean of the Grand Line, and not ten feet away rocked the Thousand Sunny peacefully on the waves.

"Well, that was impressive! I did not expect us to be  _that_  fast! Good job! "

Robin patted the swordsman's shoulder while passing by, and made her way over to the ship.

Somehow Zoro did not feel taken quite seriously...

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ...dunno where that came from. Or where its going, for that matter. It seemed to be a bit - well - lost.
> 
> Guess that is what happens, when you watch to much OP and read an old fairy tale afterwards...Sorry if it ain't making any sense (it's also almost two years old already)
> 
> I may mention as well, that i don't own One Piece (yes,poor me) but Eiichiro Oda does (and he is doing a great job)
> 
> So long, Mag~


End file.
